journal – Teraphobia – Two Shades and a World Changed

So many things going on. Such anger, so completely obvious and in your face. It’s too much. I miss the days when we were limited to the 6:00 news and maybe a rumor that the neighbors lost their dog and we had to help find him. I grew up afraid of a few logical things. Strangers, drunk drivers and dogs. Now we all talk and spread fear through social media. We spread all our anxiety and nutty ideas. Others agree and spread it. Soon it’s posted in 24 hour news cycle and posted 50 times a day as true.

I need to escape into my world of storytelling but what story do I tell? Relevant to the world around me or making something up. I am building a world of taur creatures in my art world at www.brokenstick.com. Can connect these worlds?

There is an artist connected to a great show called Tales from the Loop. Where Swedish artist Simon Stålenhag brings his artwork to life. It’s amazing to see his work on the screen. Simon attaches a story to his work. I would love to do the same but all the work I have up to now lives in semi-separate worlds.

It’s certainly on my mind and as I move through this new (minus City of Zombie) world it will effect it.

The Minotaurs

So, this starts my new attempt to write everyday. It’s partially free writing with minimal edits. I want to get words on screen. It will not be eloquent or perfect but hope it will be fun.

I just happen to be doing it in the bathroom of the church next to my house.

There is a story in this situation I am currently in… huge… well maybe not huge. What happened you ask?

First, I should mention that we are Minotaur. Huge bi-pedal creatures with bovine heads. Big muscular thighs to hold our oversized heads. (Just to note something irrelevant) The women are larger then the men, so imagine my fright when she stormed into the bathroom when I was brushing my facial hair.

“Daniel,” she boomed. “Who is this?”

She thrust the picture of a very attractive cow in my face. She had a thick brown color with strips of black along the right-side of her face.

I stepped back and fell into the toilet. The poor ceramic thing burst with my sudden weight… but wait there’s more…

She laughed. A riotous laughter. She thought frightening me was the funniest thing. That was until I skillfully trip her causing her to tumble into the sink and the tub.

So, now I type this from a strangers toilet

Freewriting Journal Entry May 10th

Heart pacemaker thing installed on my wife or for my wife to keep her from passing out.

It’s a pretty rough thought, knowing there is a device installed… a foreign object in my wife’s shoulder.

Imagine all the object we can now install on our bodies… in our bodies. Robo-humans. Arms, legs, hearts so much.

You know… I heard there are people that have surgery to look like elves. Really…

How about surgery to look like a boxer after a Mike Tyson fight… where the boxer bites your ear?

“Hey, what happened to your ear?”

“Oh nothing it’s supposed to hang down like that.”

“Really? It’s supposed to barely hang like that.. looks disgusting.”

“Well that rude… this is art, man what I do with my body is my business.”

“Sure is,” says the man walking away.

… are you asking for trouble when you do stuff like that? Tattooed face, weird ears… hey look at me!

The only experience I have is wearing fedoras or my custom tshirts. Speaking of that.. I have to run through all my artwork @ http://www.brokenstickstudio.com and add detailed descriptions. Sell it. It’s on my procrastination list.

Ahh… Some days

So frustrated today…

Sorry for any delays in storytelling lately. I’m finding some success, all though very small, running www.brokenstickstudio.com.

I will still write and this is not a sign off… this is just a expression of exhaustion regarding an application I’m working on at work.

My writing is coming up to November and Novel Writing month. I want to participate but I will have to pause work at the studio. It’s really hard to shift gears from something you know is working to something you just like to do. My daughter wants me to write a novel on a happy boy in a happy town that finds something wrong. I’m stressing over this…

Never done anything like this. My goal was to write an outline but I’ve never been all that great at sitting down and writing that framework. Now, I have recently started DM’ing a game at http://www.woldiangames.com/. We are always looking for more players by the way. 🙂

Creating these modules are very interesting and helpful. They are certainly an asset when you are trying to tell a story. I could very well set up these with my previous novel attempts and this new one. If I was to do this boy story I really need some more details. I’ve got a few days to work this out… stay tuned here for more details. Also plan to add my new site here when I get a couple free moments.

Thanks for sticking with me… 🙂

matt

Ideas

As I writer one of the worse things I can say is I’m out of ideas. I’m not out of ideas so I guess that’s good. The problem is my ideas are spread out. I hang out at an online Pathfinder game named woldiangames.com. (Looking for more players btw..)

I hadn’t experienced the details of an RPG game. All these people that play D &D and Pathfinder and I missed all of it.. until now of course. Within a year I’ve become a Dungeon Master in charge of an awesome group of players stuck on a Floating City. My point being that I expend so much for this game. I am absolutely thrilled to do so. Problem number two, being my phone… no..no.. I’m not on Facebook all day or taking selfies and screaming like a girl.. I’m drawing/painting and creating. I’m back to doing art after many years of quiet struggle. Every t-shirt I post here is done from my phone. I just ordered my Cthulhu t-shirt. It will be in the mail 1 to 5 days.. wahoo..

Ideas… they are always there. Like a mole on your arm that you try to tattoo over. It’s always there. What I would really like to do today is write another story about the family.. wow… they don’t have a name. I’ve wrote two shorts about them and they don’t have a last name. Maybe Shortz… Janice and Darrin Shortz. Tracy and Sara Shortz…

Did you guys know I have a three hundred word minimum word count? I’ve been short only a couple times over the years. Today will not be one of them.

I’m watching reruns of Code Black.. I’m angry that I have to wait for new episodes then they give me reruns. Same with NBC.. I don’t want to watch the Olympics junk. I missed America’s got Talent because I avoided NBC via eight o’clock.. grrr

Well I made it…
If you have a favorite blog or a story that just has to be shared let me know. Send me an email at matthewstitt49259@yahoo.com. Hey, even if you want to say hi…

Have a great night

Dream of Death – Journal entry

I had a dream last night that I died. It was something that really makes you think. Don’t think too much into it. It could of had many meanings.

I spoke to my sister in my dream. She had passed before me, which is more frightening. Neither of us is dead but I was learning something from her. I felt comfortable but fearful.

Can you feel comfortable but fearful?

We were both lying in a desert-like environment.. no heat just the sand and the scarce trees and bushes.

This dream just concreted my thought on how important it is to live up to your expectations of life. To enjoy every moment and be good to people. Those people are going to be supporting you when you start to fade away. A belief in God is helpful throughout life but I’m afraid that denies you credit as a strong individual. You can give the grief to God. He will take it but that grief is still yours to own. You have to figure out how to manage it.
It’s like telling a baseball coach to hit a homerun for you. It’s not possible. The coach is there but you have to hit your own homerun.

Life is so absolutely important.
This is just an opinion piece here but I believe life is far more important than death or after-death.
Sure, if you are afraid to go to hell you are going to do your best to avoid it… fear has a way of doing that but are you living the best life by being fearful of punishment?
A single-minded focus on a happy afterlife avoids the situations that appear everyday. It’s a coping mechanism that many people need. Just let me get through this tough life and I will be ok.
I don’t agree with this. Life is so absolutely wonderful. So many potentials in this life of ours. I’ve had rough years. I’ve had some problems and expect more.
Life comes with the awesome responsibilities of others. Your actions affect everyone else. I feel it is my responsibility to be the best person because of what my actions do for others.
Sure, I screw this up all the time. Look at me under a microscope and you will see all the germs and micro-organisms swimming around but this is normal. It’s all but impossible to be perfect everyday.

New Task – World of my Artwork

So I was able to complete my 1st draft of City of Zombies. It was really a test for how far I could go and whether I could finish anything. I think it went well and I am now in the editing phase. Next task will be to work on my Art. It has really been ignored for the last couple years. So the plan is to do the same thing. Every Wednesday I will work on some picture using art from Pinterest

https://www.pinterest.com/kingsboro2008/to-draw-list/

I will not pressure myself to finish it in one day. The only rule is to work on it. I still have to post every Wednesday so I will likely post about it. Pictures of my progress may come every week or every other week.

My writing has not stopped and I need to continue to make progress with my novel and new work. There is a bug in my ear regarding the Long Black Train. I’ve been wanting to work on that and expand.

This will require some major world building, which I’m still working on. City of Zombies was also a world builder exercise but I was able to base it off of things I see everyday. The world of the Long Black Train is dark and filled with magic and monsters. Mythology of a huge source of material for a writer. Many of the monsters are based off them. The Long Black Train is no different but my question is:

Is there a lack of originality because I use mythology? Just like the Man tests I deal with all day long. Does mythology make me less of a writer like dressing in pink could make me less than a man? (Note: My comparison is tongue in cheek)

Tongue in cheek? What does that mean?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tongue-in-cheek

Apparently the tongue in cheek was an indication of contempt. Still not sure what that would look like but oh well..

The picture above… I got lost in a tangent…

So standby for updates on my new task, my new writing and general thoughts..

Thanks

To Do for 2015

My blog tends to be all over the place lately. Other then my CityofZombies posts and the other wonderful posts I add from others. My addition of Monster stories has been missing. I have plenty of material to add and I promise to make some changes this year. I have loved monster stories since I first watched Dracula when I was a boy. A little secret I will share. I was terrified of vampire till I was 16 years old. I would wrap something around my neck every night so I would not be bitten. Luckily, I never strangled myself.

Often nights, I would envision monsters in the closet. I would imagine shapes and build the monsters in my closet. I spent many nights terrified that I would be attacked by human monsters. Noises interrupting my sleep at night. The house creeping and squeaking. I have always have the most vivid imagination. Imagine 3D images 24/7 prancing around within feet of your face every day. I think of it a lot of times like a medium of monster-dom. Instead of listening and seeing the dead I see fictional monsters.

I watched the last Night of the Museum tonight and I couldn’t help loving the sights and sounds of the creatures in the British museum. It was like watching a whole new world develop right before my eyes. This excitement is what keeps me moving. The idea of writing something no one else has ever seen just thrills me.

My novel City of Zombies should be completed by June. I am back to posting once a week but I am so close to the end of the novel. I look forward to thwarting the zombie invasion below the streets and doing something with Gabriel. Not really sure what I want to do to him. My monsters will be all over that world by the time I’m done.

My other monsters will be populating this blog. I have so many unfinished works in my journals and even within this blog. I will be rewriting some key moments and recounting the journal entries. I have a great take on Ten Little Indians by Agatha Christie. One of my favorite books. I wrote it years ago, never finished.

Last up: I will be suiting up for a brand new web address this year. My Monsters and Me will be becoming a .com or whatever strikes me as interesting. I plan to start this next week. To y’all out there have a great year.

Thanks matthew r. stitt

Author (Freewriting) Dec 23, 2014

I’m watching the latest Paranormal Activities movie, good reason why I can’t write but still. I just don’t have any energy to write. I’m going to have to force myself to write. I’m writing this post just to free write something. Paranormal Activity 4 is a very interesting return to the original intention of the franchise. My opinion, of course but I find the setting within the Latino community very interesting. It adds to the mythology of these movies. They also add a lot more supernatural events. The characters are played very well by unknowns. It’s back to “what the hell is going to happen?”

To other stuff… what about a story mixing monsters and supernatural horror like Paranormal Activity.

Hmmm.. a new twist.. someone took the main character..

I know this is all over the place but I need to write something.. been watching Helix. Completed the first season. Very good series about CDC scientist trying to fix extreme sci fi infections.. I think these days are excellent for fans of sci fi.

They are approaching a thin, white door. The camera light fails as they walk in. Inside the room is a fake head and some covered appliances. They are searching for their brother in an old house. Currently looking inside a horse stall. Yikes.. crazy witches.. lol

They are inside the house with the witches outside staring.. looks like a goat head inside a pentagram. They are looking at a window intensely till someone bangs on it. Marisol is missing…

Oops.. she fell from the ceiling now Hector is running around the house screaming. This would be intensely frightening if I was in this house. All sorts of crazy things going on.. He’s opening the door… everything is quiet…

Till Jesse shows up and chases him.. yikes

Wow.. he broke down the door.. now Hector runs through a door and he is in the original Paranormal Activity house..

Scary zombie woman walking around.. ok.. he’s dead..

Nice..

Work Anxiety

Made some mistakes at work today. Have this overwhelming umbrella of paranoia and anxiety over this job. Everything is perfect and the job loves me but I keep getting this feeling that something is going wrong. Something is going to come up. Someone is going to say, “I’m sorry but we have to boot you from the project. You are just not working out anymore.”

I even feel that I am not giving 100%. So much going on at work and more going on at home. I’m overtired and wore out everyday. It’s like I work 24 hours a day.. anyway.. that’s my speal..have a good day..

P.S. Check out my new post in City of Zombies later.. I haven’t written it yet but today is the day. I don’t know if they are going to head to grandma’s or the safehouse.. maybe grandma is the safehouse or in the safehouse.. something.. should be interesting