Dear Diary,

They came tonight to do “an intervention.”

I was told I should not sleep in a coffin anymore. They said it was creepy.

They said, “Vlad, you don’t live in a cobweb filled castle anymore. Stop acting like it.”

The other Vampires treat me like a child or an old person.

~  Vlad

Dear Diary,

I went shopping for a bed. The woman in the store said I was cute. I keep hearing that word cute. Cute. My cat is cute. I am not cute, yet they say I am.

I drank her blood in the warehouse. The bed was delivered today. The cat crawled underneath it. I can’t get her to come out. She sits and purrs and stares at me with big green eyes. She will not listen to reason.

The only thing about this situation I can agree with are the black silk sheets.